Tend: Care in Practice

A men’s relationship group for healing disconnection, facing old patterns, and learning to show up with more care in the relationships that matter most.

Express Your Interest

Welcome to Tend

Before we could make sense of it, we were already being shaped by rules about manhood, worth, and belonging.

Many of us learned to perform, numb out, stay in control, and push through to cope, fit in, or feel like enough. These are understandable responses in our society. But left unexamined, we can find ourselves being distant partners, absent fathers, guarded with friends, and struggling to show up with the care we’re capable of.

Tend is a healing and transformation space for white men and masculine-identified folks to process what shaped us, grieve what it cost us, and practice showing up with more presence, honesty, embodiment, and care in our relationships, families, and communities.

You Might Be Here If…

  • You want to be a better partner, father, friend, or community member.
  • You care about the people in your life, but know you’re not always showing up the way you want to.
  • You’ve gotten feedback that the way you show up can be hurtful or hard to be close to—and you want to change.
  • You tend to push through, stay busy, stay in control, or shut down, and it’s affecting your relationships.
  • You feel cut off from parts of yourself, and can feel that distance showing up in your relationships.
  • Guilt, shame, or self-criticism often run louder than care or self-trust.
  • You’re tired of performing strength while feeling alone, numb, or stuck underneath it.
  • You want honest support with other men without posturing, fixing, or pretending.
  • You’re ready to turn insight into practice and build more presence, care, and accountability in daily life.


There is an animating principle in the self–a life force (some of us call it a soul) that when nurtured enhances our capacity to be more fully self-actualized and able to engage in communion with the world around us.

― bell hooks

How it Works

This isn’t just a space to talk. It’s a space to do the work of healing and change. The arc of the group moves through three phases:

Close-up of a moss-covered tree trunk in a vibrant green forest, showcasing natural beauty.

Our Stories

Together, we look beneath the surface to understand the stories we inherited, the roles we moved into, and how we learned to survive. We explore how pressure, disconnection, control, and performance shape the men we become. By naming these patterns in community, we begin to loosen their grip and open the possibility of living differently.

forest, sunrise, path, pine, golden, light, tranquil, moss, serene, shadows, glow, nature, landscape, sunrays, serene, serene, serene, serene, serene, sunrays

Finding Healing and Wholeness

We slow down enough to acknowledge what we’ve lost, meet it honestly, and feel the pain of living with so much of ourselves pushed aside. We grieve it. In doing so, we make room for something more whole, more alive, and more ready for change in how we practicetice care in our relationships.

A scenic suspension bridge crossing a flowing river in the lush Milford forest, perfect for outdoor adventure.

New Ways of Being

Now, with more room to move, we begin to practice showing up differently with ourselves and others—more embodied, more intentional, and more caring. Here, reflection becomes action as we try new ways of relating, speak honestly about what works and what doesn’t, and build habits of presence, honesty, and care with the support of the group.

More Details

Group Size: 6–10 people
Length: 8 weeks · 2-hour session each week
Format: Virtual
Planned Start: Week of September 13 (Days and dates determined by group availability)
Getting Started: Fill out the interest form and we’ll schedule a time to connect. From there, we’ll finalize a group time that works for most people and begin in September.

Sliding Scale

Choose the rate that best reflects your means and the support this group can offer you.

$595 Community Rate
$795 Sustaining Rate
$995 Supporter Rate
$1400 Sponsored Rate

If you feel called to this work and cost feels hard, reach out. I want to help make room for those who want to be here. No one is turned away because of cost.

A Few Important Notes

Why white men?

White men are shaped not only by masculinity, but also by the norms and conditioning of whiteness, which can limit emotional honesty, accountability, and care in specific ways. Tend offers space to examine that shaping, heal what it costs, and practice showing up differently in relationships and community.

Is this therapy?

No. Tend is not therapy or a substitute for mental health treatment. It is a facilitated healing and growth space focused on reflection, relationships, accountability, and practicing new ways of being. I’ll be learning and growing right alongside the group as a participant facilitator.

Who is this space for, in terms of gender?

Tend welcomes cis men, trans men, queer men, nonbinary masc folks, and masculine-identified people who feel aligned with the focus of the group. People in monogamous, queer, polyamorous, nontraditional, or evolving relationship structures are all welcome here. You do not need to fit any narrow or traditional idea of masculinity, gender, or relationship to belong here.

What if I’ve caused harm or struggle in relationships?

Then this may be the space for you. No one here has to be perfect. If you’ve caused harm—emotional, relational, psychological, or otherwise—Tend offers a place to face it honestly, work with its roots, and do the hard work of change alongside others committed to changing too.

When You’re Ready

Fill Out The Interest Form

I’m Ready